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My 3-year-old son saw a wedding dress in a store window and asked what it was. I told him it was a special dress that ladies wear when they get married.

3-Year-Old: Can boys wear dresses?

Me: Yes, if they want to.

3-Year-Old: Do you wear dresses, Papa?

Me: No.

3-Year-Old: Why?

Me: Because I’m a boy who likes to wear pants. Some boys and girls like dresses, others like pants. We wear whatever we feel comfortable in.

3-Year-Old: I want to wear my penis.

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We had just told our 3-year-old son that he was going to have a new baby brother.

3-Year-Old: Where is my baby brother?

Me: In Mommy’s belly.

3-Year-Old: Did she eat him?

Me: No, she didn’t eat him. He needs to sleep in Mommy’s belly until he gets big enough to hang out with you.

3-Year-Old: Cool.

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You’re probably wondering who I am and how I’m in any way qualified to curate a blog on kids’ Q&A. Ok, well, I’m a guy in my 30’s, living the dream in California. The dream being 1 house, 2 cars, 3 cats, a wife who cooks really well, a toddler who’s fascinated with his penis, and a baby who wears diapers that could fit a chihuahua.

Believe me, toddlers have plenty of questions, which I hear doesn’t stop as the kid gets older… ever. Anyway, I wanted to keep a collection of crazy Q&A sessions that I’ve had with my older son, so that I can remember all the stupid shit I’ve ever said and tell it to my younger son. I also think kids pretty much ask the same questions, just variations of those questions as they get older.

I’m a huge advocate of honesty… age-appropriate, of course… so I just go with the flow when my kid asks me a nutty (and often embarrassing) question.